Clowning Around
by sheepish123
Summary: Amanda tries to hide her fear of horror movies from the squad during a night out at the theater, but soon comes to realize that Olivia shares the same fear. Short, fluffy one-shot. Amanda/Olivia pairing.


**This story takes place in season 20 but Noah, Jesse and Frannie don't exist, and Amanda is not pregnant or dating Dr. Al.**

 **I'm still having major writer's block with the other stories I'm working on, so this is just a bit of silly fluff to keep my creativity flowing. I'm hoping to post more new chapters soon, but it's been very tough to get much writing done lately.  
**

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Amanda is visibly shaking as she leaves the stuffy confines of the building with her colleagues in tow, taking a deep breath of the cold night air and trying to digest the horror of what she has just witnessed as their team huddles together on the sidewalk. She doesn't think she will ever be able to get it out of her head; the screaming, the blood, the sheer terror of the victims, and wonders how she will possibly be able to fall asleep after observing such carnage.

"That was the best thing I've ever seen!" Carisi announces with enthusiasm, the Italian detective bumping into Amanda as he takes a step away from the stream of people flooding through the open doors.

"Yeah, it was pretty good," Fin chuckles in agreement, Amanda shooting incredulous glances at both men. "What did you think, Liv?"

"I think we should have gone to see a comedy instead of a horror," their lieutenant replies, a faint tremble evident in her tone and her face leached of all color, the older woman appearing to be on the verge of passing out.

"You're not gonna faint on us, are you, Lieu?" Carisi sounds concerned as they all press in more tightly around their boss in an effort to shield her from the unforgiving pavement if she does indeed lose consciousness, but there is a hint of teasing in his voice as well.

Amanda is surprised at Olivia's uncharacteristic behavior, recalling how the brunette had clutched onto her arm for dear life inside the movie theater, initially assuming that she herself was the only member of the squad so afraid of these types of films and determined to keep it a secret. She had only agreed to Carisi's suggestion of seeing a movie that involved a deranged posse of clowns going on a murder spree through a small town so she could spend some time with Olivia outside of work, but is beginning to wish she had just stayed at home instead.

The feelings of regret are growing stronger as disturbing images from the screen play in a loop inside Amanda's brain, and she privately acknowledges that there is only one person on the planet that is worth putting herself through all of this torment. She throws a glance at Olivia, relishing in the closeness of the curvy figure as they continue chatting with Fin and Carisi, and trying to come up with a way to prolong their night together.

She can sense that this rare evening away from the precinct is swiftly coming to a close, Olivia mentioning how tired she is after their long and busy week and Fin talking about the plans he has with his grandson the next day, Amanda scrambling to think of something that will keep Olivia in her presence for a little while longer. The thought of taking the subway back to her apartment by herself fills her with a kind of dread that she doesn't often experience, so used to being alone in the bustling city after dark and confident in her abilities as a police officer if anyone were ever to attempt to harm her.

As the group says their goodbyes and begin dispersing to head in opposite directions, Amanda's pride welling to the surface and declining a ride home from Carisi in spite of her fear, she is overcome with an odd sort of panic that she doesn't usually feel. She makes sure the guys are out of earshot before reaching over to grasp onto the sleeve of Olivia's jacket, feeling a connection to the person who is just as terrified as she is, the older woman halting in her tracks and shooting her a curious look as the words spill from Amanda's lips before she even realizes what she is saying.

"So this might be a bit inappropriate, but I was wondering if you wanted to sleep together tonight?"

Amanda winces as Olivia's jaw drops open and the other woman chokes on a reply, feeling a twinge of guilt as she watches Olivia's cheeks turn bright red and deciding that she could have worded the question a little differently. Rampant anxiety is twisting her stomach into tight knots as she considers the ramifications of what she has just asked, but the need to feel comforted and safe for the remainder of the night is overriding any concerns she has about the abnormal topic of conversation that has just been initiated.

" _Might_ _be_ a bit inappropriate? It's _extremely_ inappropriate, Rollins." Olivia's pupils are dilated as they gaze at each other in the darkness, the rush of the crowd still spilling from the doors pushing them even closer together, and Amanda tries to get an accurate read on the lieutenant's mood when she notices a trace of interest beneath the shock.

"Well, I didn't mean it like _that_ ," Amanda mutters under her breath, erotic images of the two of them tangled up together in Olivia's sheets mixing in with the need for security. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Liv."

"You're scared because of the movie, aren't you? That's what's going on here, isn't it?" Olivia's head is tilted to the side, inquisitive brown eyes practically blazing a hole through Amanda's face as she scrutinizes her detective very carefully. "You don't want to be alone right now, do you?"

"No, that's not exactly it..." Amanda scrapes a foot along the sidewalk as a blush of shame colors her cheeks, not wanting to admit just how frightened she actually is and eager to keep her tough-cop persona intact.

"Well, if it's not...gutter stuff...and it's not the movie, what exactly is it, then?" Olivia asks quietly after a lengthy silence stretches out between them, the tension thick in the air.

"Gutter stuff?" Amanda repeats with a sputtered laugh and a raised eyebrow. "You're the lieutenant of a sex crimes unit and you can't even bring yourself to say the word? You thought I was propositioning you for sex, right? Wow, Liv, that's quite an assumption. You certainly think a lot of yourself, don't you?"

Before Olivia can answer, the older woman stammering over her words as her face grows even redder, Amanda is giving a casual wave and struggling to make light of what she has just asked, trying to tamp down the feelings of rejection and embarrassment that are creeping in. "I just thought you might like the company tonight, that's all. I was trying to be nice. You were the one grabbing _my_ arm in that theater, Liv, not the other way around."

"I was just a bit startled by a particular scene," Olivia murmurs in response, the taller woman drawing a circle in the light dusting of snow with the toe of her boot and looking more awkward than Amanda can ever remember seeing her.

"Liv, I have fingernail marks gouged into my skin," she replies dryly, rolling up the sleeve of her coat to reveal the ragged wounds. "You almost drew blood. I think you were more than just a bit startled."

"Well, it took me by surprise, okay?" Olivia snaps in return, sounding mildly annoyed now. "Did it have to be so graphic? We see that kind of stuff enough on the job. I don't need to see it on the screen too."

"Well, you had to know there was going to be some graphic violence in a horror movie about a pack of killer clowns," Amanda says with an amused giggle. "And if it bothers you so much, why did you agree to go?"

"Well, why did _you_ agree?" Olivia shoots back, a disconcerted frown pulling her eyebrows together. "Because it's obviously bothering you too. Although I have to admit that I'm a little surprised by your reaction. I thought this kind of movie would be right up your alley."

"Hey, I never said that it was bothering me," Amanda protests as she holds her hands up in dismay. "And why would you assume I enjoy that kind of film instead of something with a little more substance? Maybe I just wanted to spend some time with the team outside of work, so I took Carisi up on his ridiculous offer."

"Well, maybe I did too," Olivia replies in a softer tone, the irritation seeming to fade somewhat. "It's nice to see everyone away from the precinct and have a break from the stress."

"Yeah, but we traded the stress of work for the stress of watching clowns going on a homicidal rampage," Amanda points out with a shrug, her lips quirking up at the absurdity of the situation and relieved when Olivia lets out a short chuckle.

"Okay, I know we both have a lot of pride and it's hard for us to admit when we're bothered by something, especially something so stupid, but how about we stop pretending that everything is okay and acknowledge the need for some company tonight?" Olivia suggests lightly, Amanda letting out a breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"Okay, I guess I can acknowledge that," she answers grudgingly, still finding it difficult to admit just how terrified she is, despite being the one to propose the idea of sharing a bed.

"And you can spend the night at my place if you promise to keep this between the two of us," Olivia warns as they begin strolling away from the theater, sticking so close to one another that their arms brush together while they walk.

"Are you worried that I'm going to brag about spending the night with my lieutenant?" Amanda snorts with a roll of her eyes and a playful nudge with her elbow into Olivia's side. "You really _do_ think a lot of yourself, Liv."

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"So how secure is this place, anyway?" Amanda asks with feigned nonchalance when they are tucked side by side into Olivia's bed, still feeling residual jitters from having to sit through such a traumatizing movie.

"You mean can a bunch murderous clowns get in here if they want to?" Olivia confirms delicately, Amanda biting her lip before giving a slight nod in response and shifting subtly closer to the taller form beneath the blankets.

"Well, this building is very secure so I think we're safe. Hey, you're shaking." Amanda feels a tentative arm sliding across her shoulders as the breezy tone in Olivia's voice is replaced with concern. "All joking aside, Rollins, were you that desperate to spend time with the team outside of work? Why would you put yourself through this when you'll be seeing all of us on Monday?"

The cover of darkness is infusing Amanda with the confidence that she has been lacking for the majority of the evening, and she makes the decision to be more straightforward with her answer instead of continuing to beat around the bush. "Well, truthfully, I wanted to spend some time with you, Liv. It was great to see the guys too, don't get me wrong, but the main reason for going to that blood-soaked festival of horror was to see you."

"Oh," Olivia says quietly after a brief pause. "Well, that makes two of us, then, since I only went because you were going. I hate those kinds of movies. I probably won't sleep for weeks now."

"Well, I'm touched that you sacrificed your sleep for me, Liv," Amanda murmurs in reply, a smile gracing her lips and a feeling of hope infusing her body when Olivia's arm tightens around her shoulders. "Although if we had been honest about our fears right from the start, we could have avoided all of this terror by ditching the guys and going to see a romantic comedy instead."

"Just the two of us? Like a date?" Olivia questions softly, Amanda's heart rate skyrocketing at the older woman's words and unsure of exactly how to respond.

Before she can even begin to formulate a reply, her mind whirling with a myriad of potential consequences if she keeps being honest with Olivia and puts a voice to her feelings for the other woman, a noise from the kitchen wrenches a sharp gasp from her throat. Amanda is instantly hurling herself into Olivia's embrace without giving it much thought, every ounce of bravery and cop-instinct that she possesses falling away to leave her quivering like a frightened child as she clambers into her boss' lap and winds her arms so tightly around Olivia's rib cage that she hears an echoing gasp emit from the brunette's mouth.

"Oh fuck, Liv, they're here!" Amanda is fully aware of how ridiculous she is acting but can't seem to control the utter terror that envelops her as she imagines the painted-face villains from the movie creeping down the hallway with murderous intent.

"Amanda, relax, it's just the refrigerator," Olivia admonishes with a laugh, although that same concern is still apparent in her tone as she feels the older woman rocking her crumpled frame back and forth in an effort to soothe her. "It makes weird noises all the time. Everything is fine."

"Huh. Well, okay, then. I guess that makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking," Amanda mutters as she clears her throat awkwardly and shifts on Olivia's lap but makes no move to resume her previous position on the bed.

She can feel Olivia's taller form shaking against her with barely suppressed laughter and Amanda groans in embarrassment, burying her head in the sweet-smelling neck of her boss, knowing full well that she should be pulling away and putting some space between them but unable to make herself do it. There is a strange mixture of desire and fear and mortification entwined into a tight knot inside her stomach, and she can't remember the last time she had been comforted so tenderly by someone, Olivia continuing to sway back and forth on the bed with Amanda in her arms, instead of urging her detective to lie beside her on the mattress.

"Um, so I didn't mean to be inappropriate by suggesting that we go on a date," Amanda finally mumbles when silence has descended over the room once again and is hanging over them like a heavy blanket.

"Amanda, considering the fact that you're sitting in my lap while we snuggle in my bed before falling asleep together, I think we've gone way past what's considered appropriate," Olivia replies wryly, Amanda stiffening at the other woman's answer and trying to unwind her shuddering limbs from the body she is wrapped around.

"Hey, I didn't say you had to move," Olivia says quickly, Amanda ceasing her struggle to get away and settling down when she hears the brunette's next words. "And I didn't say no to a date, either. Inappropriate or not, I think it's obvious that something is going on here and I wouldn't mind exploring it a little bit further..."

"Really?" Amanda is surprised and elated by this response, deciding to begin the exploration process right away by stroking a hand over Olivia's cheekbone and pressing her lips gently into the plump, enticing pair that are hovering in front of her.

Thoughts of the horror movie they had endured just to spend some time together are swiftly swept from Amanda's brain as she becomes lost in the kiss, her hands sliding up Olivia's back to tangle into silky locks of dark hair, delighting in the feel of Olivia's tongue softly probing for access to her mouth. The room is filled with panting breaths and muted moans and wandering fingers before they finally break apart for lack of air, resting their foreheads against one another and sharing a grin, Amanda practically delirious with happiness at the unexpected turn this evening has taken.

"It's getting late so I think we should try to get some sleep now. We can talk more in the morning," Olivia whispers as she begins sliding into a horizontal position on the bed, Amanda aware that this is her cue to vacate the older woman's lap and rearrange herself, but unable to let go.

"So is this where you're going to sleep tonight, then?" Olivia asks dryly, Amanda sprawled right across the other woman's chest with her full weight pinning Olivia to the mattress once they are settled. "Directly on top of me?"

"I think it's probably for the best," she answers in a serious tone, leaning forward to press another kiss to Olivia's lips. "You know, for protection. You're the leader of my squad, and a detective should always be ready to protect her lieutenant from any sort of harm."

"Including harm in the form of a refrigerator?" Olivia snickers as the same noise sounds from the kitchen and Amanda flinches sharply, her fingernails digging into the soft material of a pajama shirt as she clings tightly to the older woman

"Yes, _any_ sort of harm," Amanda reiterates in an authoritative voice that only trembles slightly, ignoring the laughter that has started up beneath her. "Murderous clowns, noisy refrigerators...you name it, Liv, I'm here for your protection. I'll keep you safe."

"Gee, thanks, Rollins. I feel so much better knowing that in the event of an attack by a group of killer clowns or a rattling appliance, I'll be saved by a woman who is shaking so hard, the entire bed is moving back and forth."

Amanda sticks her tongue out in response to the sarcasm, flinching again when she feels teasing fingers burrowing into her sides to tickle her, smiling when she returns the gesture and listens to Olivia's indignant shriek. The regret at subjecting herself to something that terrifies her is quickly fading away in the presence of a woman who makes her feel so safe and comforted, Amanda concluding that she had definitely made the right choice when Olivia's lips meet her own again.


End file.
